No, you're right. I'm the asshole

"CAR_IS_MI" (car-is-mi)
03/20/2015 at 22:37 • Filed to: None

(driver rant inside;328 for your time)

This dude just really irked me on the way home.

So were sitting at a left turn, waiting for traffic to pass, dude is in front of me, I see him grab his phone and start texting. Traffic passes, massive gap, big enough the I could have backed a semi through the turn and still had time to spare, dude dosent go. I wait patiently.

More cars, more waiting, a hole opens up big enough for at least 4 cars to turn left, he goes, I follow.

The road we have just turned onto is a 2 lane road with a 45mph speed limit.

Dude is now driving in the middle of the two lanes, 30 mph, and texting.

Okay bro, lets put the phone down.

So I honked (beep beep, wake the fuck up dude)

he looks up and swerves in an "OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT IM GOING TO DIE" reaction, and almost hits the curb (theres also a 3 foot wide bicycle lane and a 10 foot wide shoulder on this road, so from in between 2 lanes to almost curbing it...)

I shake my head.

he stays in to the right.

I pass on the left.

once I am far enough in front, I signal right and change lanes.

I watch him in my rear view, still texting away. Then I see him put his phone down.

Now this is the part that irks me.

The ass clown then proceeds to floor it, tail gate me, fly around me, cut me off, and then slow down.

Really bro. You're mad I interrupted your text conversation by alerting you to the fact that you are a fucking moron. Further more, your self righteous ass decided it was best for you to show me who's boss by proving your lack of intelligence and not only tailgating me and cutting me off, but speeding to pass me and then slowing down below the speed limit in a desperate attempt to inconvenience me.

Your little Versa looks like the rocks my Jeep climbs up. Next time I will take you to school and teach you a lesson in structural rigidity.

DISCUSSION (6)

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > CAR_IS_MI
03/20/2015 at 22:44

You're doing the Lords work. Next time, fuck his shit up.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > CAR_IS_MI
03/20/2015 at 22:45

Every time I get cut off by a motorcycle I really wonder about how stupid people can get before they have to be tube fed. I mean seriously, if you have watched Top Gear, you should know that if you get hit by something with a Hilux chassis, you aren't going to win when you are on a motorcycle.

PushToStart > CAR_IS_MI
03/20/2015 at 22:46

I don't want to be that guy but...

That's a 308 :P

The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 > CAR_IS_MI
03/20/2015 at 22:51

I've had a similar experience a few times with an asshole in a new Corolla on my morning commute. I'm already doing at least 5 over at 5:45 am on empty roads. I could go faster but you know how suburban cops can be... Well 5 over isn't enough for this jerkass. He knows the route just as well as anyone else. He passes me somewhat slowly, then cuts me off without a signal, then slows down immediately to make a right turn. I am also making the same right turn and want to get around him after the turn. So he floors it. At this point it is brand new Corolla vs. 1992 Grand Marquis. FYI, the Mercury is still faster after 23 years, 147k miles, and lousy gear ratios. Well, now I am back to my 5 over the limit so I ease off, but I am not far enough ahead to change lanes and get in front of him. The dick keeps going then slows down to stay next to some guy who is doing 5 UNDER the limit so that I can't pass. He was in a hurry before, but now he is not for the sake of cock blocking me.

wafflesnfalafel > CAR_IS_MI
03/20/2015 at 23:32

24% of all people are stupid at any one time... You caught him being a dumba$$ and pointed it out to him, that's why he got all road ragey.

Had a guy last week doing that last week - he was texting away when the light turned green so I gave him a >beep,beep< and he stormed off. He did the same thing at the next light, I >beep, beeped< again. Next light? Same exact thing, he is busy texting so I >beep, beep<- he flips me off and sits there so I smile wide and wave and wait for him to figure out the light is green. :)

Machingadera > CAR_IS_MI
03/25/2015 at 04:49

This is why everyone needs a late 70's pickup with a giant steel bumper out back.